Day Five, and the beginning of Memorial Day Weekend!

So happy to see Friday arrive, I can't believe this week has gone by so fast considering that I am on a diet. Today is my fifth day and I am so very proud of myself. I have yet to cheat, but my will power is definitely going to be tested this weekend. I have a Memorial Day BBQ to attend and I am sure there will me mounds of yummy and delicious food there and I am prepared to face it all. My plan is to bring my own food so that temptation is easier to manage - I hope it works. I know some might think that I am crazy and that I should stay away from it, but the truth is that I want to go and spend time with my boyfriend's side of the family and enjoy my day off playing bingo. Although I will admit that a part of me does want to go and face the challenge of it all, because truthfully - I have made a commitment to a lifestyle change, and just because I'm not going to eat the same food as everyone else, does not mean that I will have to pull myself out of every social event that presents itself in my life. That would be unfair to myself and my loved ones.

What I have learned in these past five days is that self control is very challenging. Yes, surprisingly I have been able to follow this regimen to the letter, but it has not come easy. The only thing that I can honestly say that keeps me from swallowing an oreo cookie whole, is the outlook on my future. I try to visualize myself at a comfortable weight, I picture myself wearing jeans without having a muffin top hang out of it, I think about myself wearing a two piece bikini on the beach, I see myself wearing a nice black dress that is fitted and looking absolutely adorable in it. The fact that my weight loss is primarily based on my obsession with self loathing is a great motivation. I hate the way I look and only I have the power to change it. Being overweight depresses me and the fact that I have taken on the challenge to change how I look, has been my first step in trying to make the girl I see everyday in the mirror fall in love with herself again.